On depression and not enough time

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It’s so easy to write of depression as stagnant, a universal category of symptoms that apply equally to everyone. The commercials for drugs always characterize their ‘depressive’ subject as older, gloomy, can’t get out of bed to attend their family functions or play with their kids. This commercial serves as a model of the stereotypical depressive person.

Perhaps because we’re so accustomed to looking at depression as some cookie-cutter, middle aged woman in a suburban house that walks around with a sad face an sappy music, it’s difficult to recognize depression in ourselves.

That, and because depression is stigmatized, especially for students like myself.

My parents would always become personally offended at the notion of my unhappiness, a condition that they believe is related to me being spoiled. We give you everything, you have it perfect, what could possibly be wrong?

And they’re right, I do have it perfect. I’ve barely come face to face with any sort of hardship. Yet here I am, struggling to make it through a day without having to nap, laying in bed for hours dreading the notion of homework and productivity. But it’s hard. Sometimes I can’t get myself to do anything, often I don’t

I created this blog as a creative outlet, a means of expressing myself in the easiest way possible. Upon creation, I swore I’d be consistent. My failure to that led me to shut down and pretend they didn’t exist. Easy enough?

Working on this made me anxious, but, perhaps fortunately, the feeling that accompanied ignoring it was far worse.

Maybe consistency is difficult, especially now. But perhaps I’m being too hard on myself. So, until things start feeling a little bit easier and until I have more time (I am a fill time student), I’ll just do my best! I hope that’s cool.

Love you all!

Julia

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2 thoughts on “On depression and not enough time

  1. aryssas says:

    Definitely being too hard on yourself! Believe me, I have beat myself up a million times for not keeping up with my blog the way I said I would. Having a personal creative project is hard right now, and I feel you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • meowcoolia says:

      sorry that I just got to this, I’ve kind of been avoiding my account because of someone harassing me? But yeah, school and winter and life and everything is draining. Thank you so much for commenting, this made me feel really good.

      Like

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